It's one of those days.

I have these feeling(s) creeping in me without mercy these past days. A feeling of wanting to quit doing things I love. A feeling of wanting to quit from my social medias. A feeling of wanting to quit from doing and promoting my business and such. I feel so small, so insecure and suck. All in all, I feel like I'm a crap. A useless one, of course. 

However, as I am slowly discovering the meaning of life, I never stop myself to feel all of these feelings. Why? Because I am a normal human being. A normal human being is not always happy, is not always cheerful. A normal being faces hiccups in life, too. Okay? One thing that makes me pissed off when people think that I am weak -- I am being exaggerate -- I am not allowed to embrace those crappy feelings. Oh wait, who are you to ask me to stop being exaggerate and ask me to stop being an attention seeker? I am not an attention seeker. I repeat, I am not. I just want to allow myself to dwell on all of the feelings,write to people on how vulnerable I am and after that, I will come back stronger. That's it. (And why on earth I need to justify myself to people? I mean I don't need to justify myself to people who don't understand or to those who don't want to listen, right?)

It sucks because some people thought that I am just an attention seeker. It sucks that I am not allowed to pour out my feelings? Some people ask me to chill out and relax because there are many people out there who are struggling even harder than me and yada yada. I appreciate those people who actually try to comfort me and make me feel better but.... you get me? Don't say I am weak. Don't say I am exaggerate. What hurts me, hurts me still. Allow me to feel and embrace my crappy feelings because I know myself more than anyone else does. I know that I need to be sad first in order for me to be happy right after. I know that I need to stumble down before I make another new progress.

Guys, come on. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel like a crap. Please don't make people feel that they are not allowed to feel what they are feeling. All feelings are matter. Be it happiness, sadness, loneliness and whatever it is, you name it. Comfort them. Be kind to them. Not ask them to stop crying. Not ask them to stop being exaggerate. Not ask them to chill and relax. Shits happen in life and that's normal. That's normal to be sad on those shits.

Instead of asking them to relax, instead of asking them to stop and whatnot -- give them courage. give them support. show them that kindness is still exist. tell them that they still have hope. That's it. If you don't have anything good to say, it's better for you to not say anything at all. Just make duaa' for them that they'll be fine. That's way beautiful rather than you just say anything you want that you think is better for them and make them feeling even more worse about themselves and whatever that they are feeling. Don't you feel bad for making them to feel like that? :(

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It's one of those days guys. It's one of those days that all the heavy feelings come and become our guest. That's normal. Embrace those feelings. It's not normal when it kills you slowly. When it kills you slowly -- then you need to find help and bla bla bla. Buuuuut, if it's not, if you think you can handle those feelings yet ; embrace them to the fullest. Life is not always bed of roses. And it's totally FINE for you to feel sad, to feel insecure, to feel vulnerable, to feel like a crap, to feel suck, to feel stupid. If people around you ask you to stop from embracing those feelings ; you know what? Just ditch those people. You deserve to feel sad as well just as much as you deserve to feel happy. (Oh whoa, am I romanticising sadness n0wwww?)

But promise me, put a limit, alright? Never dwell on all of the feelings for too long. Never. 

Promise me, you'll come back, stronger and wiser. 

Alright? *pinky promise.

Part of being the heroine of your own life is

accepting the bad with good.
Not dodging it or covering it up or glossing over it 

to make it looks prettier.
I think it's a lot braver to talk about our doubts & fears 

instead of act like everything is perfect.
Life without both joy and sadness is a life without balance.
-- Mandy Hale #YouAreEnough

Regards,
Fatin N.